Not sure I'm feeling so upset  .
I'm just stuck here crying , feeling so down.

Studies , work , relationship .
Study when ? After work or part time ?

What 'bout relationship ? He wouldn't havr much time left for me . Maybe not even a day , a dinner , a week or a month .
I don't want that to happen .
By then , you'll fall in love with someone you think that is more mature & someone you think that'll love you more - bur obviously no one loves you more than me , excluding blood related .

I don't want things to drift away  .
But seriously it's only Jan and its so bad already , how worst can it go as time passes ?

I've really no idea what to do .
I want to study , but I don't want be shown a black face every morning and get reminded that I'm using my parents money , i'm wasting they time a money , they don't earn alot , other people smarter etc .
I want to work and pay for my own studies , but I don't want to be behind people . Don't really mind , but I'll still mind .

Like my colleague said -
you can study later , but when it's time to study , who will want to study when you can have cash on hand ?
I'm in a dilemma .
Upset , angry with myself . Can't control my emotions since I let my emotions eat me .

No idea what to do anymore .